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The last couple weeks have definitely been different! The Lord has been working on me so much the last 2 weeks I'm a little worn out. I know He's always doing things in us and we are always changing but I think sometimes we are like a construction site with bulldozers and jackhammers and other times we are like a car getting a touch up paint job or our oil changed. I've definitely been bulldozed and jackhammered lately. It's a good thing, but I definitely hasn't been painless.

The Lord keeps reminding me of hurts that I have been carrying around. Some hurts that I had buried so deep because I thought that was the only was I could survive. If i couldn't see the hurt and could forget about the hurt, it wasn't there. I just started reading a great book and I recommend it to everyone called "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. It's talks about the spirit of offence. It's amazing the hurts that people carry around and some of us don't even realize that is what it is. But it manifests in our lives in negative ways.

Well God has gone out of his way to remind me this week of things I would rather forget. People I wish that I could erase from my past. Of course, if I don't see them, or talk to them, or have contact with anyone who has contact with them, I am safe and I'm comfortable living with the hurt that I have buried soooo deep. Well God has made me very uncomfortable! And honestly I didn't really like it at first. I thought that I was done with the demons in my past. God is doing a New thing but apparently that means dealing with an old thing first. I thought at first it was unforgiveness but I have forgiven. It's hurt! It's deep painful gut wrenching hurt. Sometimes emotional things can be literally painful, and this is.

But the Lord didn't remind me of this hurt to punish me or to let me suffer. He wants to take the hurt and fill that place with His love. Some one close gave me this word recently. The Lord wants to fill all of me with His love and His Spirit and so He wants to get rid of those hurts to make more room for Him. That's so incredible! All week long even in my dreams last night I was reminded of those that I would rather forget.

We had an incredible service at our church and the Holy Spirit wouldn't even let me get through the church service without getting the message that the Lord had for me. I'm on a new journey and I need to look to God. I don't need to listen to what others are saying! Stop looking at myself in the mirror and look at God! I only have inklings of God's plan for me and my family, but he is getting me ready for something. I don't know what it's gonna look like but I know it's gonna be good!