"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 8:38-39
It's one thing the face a problem but it is another thing altogether to be free. I knew that if I couldn't be free of this it was going to kill me. That may sound extreme, I mean it's not like I'm addicted to Meth but it's still true. But as I've said before I never felt worthy to be loved by the Lord nor did I ever really think he would set me free of this spirit of addiction.
Have I told you how much I love my church. I go to an amazing church called The Healing Place (THP). It is filled with amazing REAL people who serve the Lord and love and support me and my family. The Pastor's are awesome and I love them so much!
So every year our church has a Ladies Encounter weekend in April and this year I had lined everything up to be able to go. Kiddo's had a sitter and hubby was happy so I was stress free about leaving for 2 nights. It was a much needed break ! Time with my girls and time with God. I came expecting God to do something but not thinking about my food addiction. God apparently had big plans for me. Everything was lined up for me to receive the one thing I never thought I would. FREEDOM!
The Lord spoke to me starting the first night in service about my struggle. Nudging me forward to receive prayer which meant telling someone else about my dirty secret. I was obedient but I just didn't think anything was going to change. The next day we met in small groups and I was blessed to be with one of my closest friends. One of the few people that I had finally opened up to and two other ladies who I now hold very dear to my heart.
Our groups were working on a lesson about the God head (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) and how our relationships with certain people can affect our view of the God head. I was ok until we got to Jesus and had to answer how I thought hew viewed me. I had to be honest. I was very emotional that I had to say I thought I was a disappointment , a failure and that I couldn't imagine how He could love me. And then I let loose I told these 3 women my struggle, the horrible shameful thing in my life that I felt defined me.
Praise God for praying women who know the Word of God! That afternoon at picnic table that looked out over a lake I found freedom! These women spoke the worked over me and identified what I struggled with foe what it was. A spirit, a curse and something that I did not have to live with. They spoke such encouragement over me by speaking scriptures from the bible. "I'm fearfully and wonderfully made... I can do all things through Christ...I am the apple of his eye." I finally was free really free. I don't know how to explain it but I know when it left. It was like this giant weight was lifted off. And I started to understand that the Lord really does love me! I'm his favorite! That doesn't mean I don't have to remind myself or everyday is perfect. But, in spite of everything the Lord always loves me and that can NEVER change. I don't have any control over that! Praise God!
It's amazing how many women that weekend and even other at church who had no idea what I had walked through told me how they could see a change in me. How my very countenance changed. I was asked Sunday in church to give a testimony of what happened to me that weekend. Honestly I was scared because that would mean admitting to the whole church, which for a moment felt like the whole world, that I had this problem. But I did it. I stood up and shared my story of the amazing work the Lord had done in me. Sure I hope that maybe someone was helped by me sharing, but that testimony was for me! I felt like I was saying look at me devil YOU LOSE!!
I would love to say the next day I stated my diet again and I've lost 50 pounds and its amazing... but I haven't. One thing I have learned is that I am free and that wont change. But God isn't going to say poof and I wake up one morning thin. I WILL lose weight but it's going to take time and work. It's not easy but at least now I'm not constantly sabotaging myself. So I guess this is a good introduction to my life I don't think every post is going to be about weight loss but it definitely affects my life in a big way
It's one thing the face a problem but it is another thing altogether to be free. I knew that if I couldn't be free of this it was going to kill me. That may sound extreme, I mean it's not like I'm addicted to Meth but it's still true. But as I've said before I never felt worthy to be loved by the Lord nor did I ever really think he would set me free of this spirit of addiction.
Have I told you how much I love my church. I go to an amazing church called The Healing Place (THP). It is filled with amazing REAL people who serve the Lord and love and support me and my family. The Pastor's are awesome and I love them so much!
So every year our church has a Ladies Encounter weekend in April and this year I had lined everything up to be able to go. Kiddo's had a sitter and hubby was happy so I was stress free about leaving for 2 nights. It was a much needed break ! Time with my girls and time with God. I came expecting God to do something but not thinking about my food addiction. God apparently had big plans for me. Everything was lined up for me to receive the one thing I never thought I would. FREEDOM!
The Lord spoke to me starting the first night in service about my struggle. Nudging me forward to receive prayer which meant telling someone else about my dirty secret. I was obedient but I just didn't think anything was going to change. The next day we met in small groups and I was blessed to be with one of my closest friends. One of the few people that I had finally opened up to and two other ladies who I now hold very dear to my heart.
Our groups were working on a lesson about the God head (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) and how our relationships with certain people can affect our view of the God head. I was ok until we got to Jesus and had to answer how I thought hew viewed me. I had to be honest. I was very emotional that I had to say I thought I was a disappointment , a failure and that I couldn't imagine how He could love me. And then I let loose I told these 3 women my struggle, the horrible shameful thing in my life that I felt defined me.
Praise God for praying women who know the Word of God! That afternoon at picnic table that looked out over a lake I found freedom! These women spoke the worked over me and identified what I struggled with foe what it was. A spirit, a curse and something that I did not have to live with. They spoke such encouragement over me by speaking scriptures from the bible. "I'm fearfully and wonderfully made... I can do all things through Christ...I am the apple of his eye." I finally was free really free. I don't know how to explain it but I know when it left. It was like this giant weight was lifted off. And I started to understand that the Lord really does love me! I'm his favorite! That doesn't mean I don't have to remind myself or everyday is perfect. But, in spite of everything the Lord always loves me and that can NEVER change. I don't have any control over that! Praise God!
It's amazing how many women that weekend and even other at church who had no idea what I had walked through told me how they could see a change in me. How my very countenance changed. I was asked Sunday in church to give a testimony of what happened to me that weekend. Honestly I was scared because that would mean admitting to the whole church, which for a moment felt like the whole world, that I had this problem. But I did it. I stood up and shared my story of the amazing work the Lord had done in me. Sure I hope that maybe someone was helped by me sharing, but that testimony was for me! I felt like I was saying look at me devil YOU LOSE!!
I would love to say the next day I stated my diet again and I've lost 50 pounds and its amazing... but I haven't. One thing I have learned is that I am free and that wont change. But God isn't going to say poof and I wake up one morning thin. I WILL lose weight but it's going to take time and work. It's not easy but at least now I'm not constantly sabotaging myself. So I guess this is a good introduction to my life I don't think every post is going to be about weight loss but it definitely affects my life in a big way
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